Wedding Dinner Pictures

Wedding Dinner (Part 1)

Here are some pictures during our wedding dinner last month. Mostly taken outside the grand ballroom at the photowall section. More pictures of the dinner reception soon!

Yes, my wedding gown was short in front with a cascading train. Courtesy of Venetian Bridal House in SS2. :)

To view the pictures, click HERE.

FOR SALE - Lace Wedding Gown

Prior to my wedding day, I did a pre-wedding shoot with Yang Shan of Poopeson Images just because I’m vain. The wedding gown belongs to a friend who very kindly allowed me to use for photography purposes. Anyway, this gown is up for sale (and it's new - I only wore it for this photography session) so if you’re interested, email me!

Gown description:


This deep V-neck full lace gown is a Spanish design which features an elongated bodice which effortlessly flatters the figure. The detailing is impeccable – romantic ivory lace, delicate floral embroidery and a low V-back. Very elegant, demure yet sexy with romantic touches. A beautiful marriage of vintage and sophistication.

Gown details:

• Fits UK6-8 or US 2-4
• Ivory (Colour)
• Low back
• Deep V-neck front
• Full lace
• Floral embroidery
• Mermaid cut, with cascading medium-length train
• Comes with padding (removable)
• Pearl beading along the neckline

Price: RM1,500

*Photos by Poopeson Images

Wei Jien + Sue Lynn // This Way Darling (2011)

This video is a great narration of our love story...by Nigel Sia & team. It was showcased to our guests during the wedding dinner. I think Nigel and his team did a great job -- all the planning, doing up the storyboard and the long 12-hour day of video shoot really paid off!

Once again, I present to you our love story...by Nigel Sia & team!

Wei Jien + Sue Lynn // This Way Darling (2011) from Nigel Sia on Vimeo.

*Check out our ROM video here!

ROM Pictures

My photography team has a lot of pictures to edit from my actual wedding day, so here are the pictures of our ROM last month while waiting for them to get back to me.

Wei Jien & Sue Lynn's ROM

I can't get over how beautiful the flower decor was that day. Thank you Garden of Senses! And the food from Spasso Milano was delicious. Thank you Daniel, Pierre, Angelo and team!

Planning A Wedding Is Fun

Go figure.

A walk down memory lane…and our wedding vows

 A year ago, he popped the question and I said "Yes". Since then, our lives revolved around planning and budgeting for our big day. That day is about to arrive, and things are slowly coming together. We've been through more ups and downs (planning a wedding takes a toll on the relationship), gone to a beneficial marriage preparation course, marriage registration/ROM, countless of gown fittings, photo shoots and getting used to our newly wed status.

To view the proposal story, click here. To view the story on FACES Magazine, click here. For our ROM video, click here.

If you want to know more, stay tuned. I will be constantly updating this blog and our wedding blog on our wedding journey. Hopefully, couples who are about to tie the knot in future can gain some knowledge and learn from our stumbles. :)

R.O.M Video

Our R.O.M was attended by family members and close friends. rif and I decided on everything -- the venue, flowers, decor, cake, wines and food. I wore a gold Herve Leger with Zara heels and my neck piece was a gift from Mori Pin. My manicure and pedicure were courtesy of Urban Spring.

Everyone had a good time (I hope!), including us both. We also had time to catch up with each and every one of our guest because it was a relatively small gathering. Garden of Senses asked what was my favourite colour, and I replied, "Baby blue". Jackie immediately got to work and came up with the beautiful decor. Nice right? :)

I also had a good team (Andy Kho and Nigel Sia), who documented the whole ceremony in the best way possible. Andy's photos will be shown to my guests during the wedding dinner (and later on, in my blog).

I am however, releasing the R.O.M video by Nigel Sia. He's very dedicated in delivering the best work possible and I'm pleased with the video outcome. According to my wedding planner, he was at the venue since 7.30am to get ready for the video.

Another thing I like about Nigel is his understanding of my favourite angles and features. Yes, I'm rather demanding in that sense. The colours were lovely and he captured everything so beautifully, I teared while watching the video. *sniff sniff*

I thought the Love Story video he did for our wedding dinner (to be released on the blog after the wedding dinner) was good, but this was even better! Nigel, I really think this is your best work yet. Can't wait for the video of the actual day. By then you should be damn pro already, hor? :D

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Nigel Sia's hard work…along with his team members. Enjoy!

Wei Jien + Sue Lynn // ROM Highlights (2011) from Nigel Sia on Vimeo.

The Marriage Preparation Course (Part 5)

Keeping Love Alive - What is your love language?

In my wedding vow to Wei Jien, I promised be his confidant. That was after learning how important it is to be a friend to your spouse. Friends confide in each other, spend time together and have conversations together. Wei Jien was first my friend, before we started dating, so naturally, we shared a lot of common interests together.


We'd go for food trips, mini vacations, coffee sessions, window shopping and watch TV series. During the fifth session of TMPC, we learnt about love languages and how each individual has a different love language. Often, our love language is different from our partner's so we need to understand that and take the effort to show it often.


For me, my love languages are "time" and "words". I feel happy when Wei Jien spends time with me and talks to me. I also love compliments and words of encouragement. Wei Jien's love languages are "touch" and "words". He likes receiving hugs and kisses, as well as words of encouragement and praise.


And in every strong marriages, sex plays an important role. Putting aside one night stands and random shag buddies, sex is communication at the deepest level. It is an expression of love within the marriage. I learnt that the key to a good sexual relationship is to talk about it -- your expectations, your thoughts and your problems (if any). Sex isn't a race or a competition. Every marriage is unique, so never compare yourselves with another couple.


This session made me realise that Wei Jien knows me better than I know myself -- he always knew that my love language was time. And he makes an effort to spend as much time as he can with me. :)

R.O.M - October 8, 2011

A few pictures from our R.O.M at Spasso Milano last Saturday courtesy of Mike & Jo Cyee. I thought the ceremony went well -- our close friends were there, the decor was gorgeous, the food was good (that's very important to me) and our cake was lovely.

Will be posting more pictures soon, once I get them from Andy. Stay tuned! :)

Before our R.O.M...

The R.O.M is tomorrow. Actually, it's in a few hours time. I think my jitters got worse when I filled in a form last week, and came to the column, "Single or Married". That freaked me out a bit, as I knew that would probably be the last time I tick on the "Single" tickbox.

Wei Jien is asleep, but I'm still up rehearsing my wedding vows. Took me a while to write the vows, and SIX amendments. I'm a seasoned food writer, but definitely not a wedding vow writer. I decided the last wedding vow I wrote was the right one. Thought of it two days ago...on the LRT ride home.

Anyway, my dress has been dry-cleaned, flower arrangement sorted and Jo Cyee just told me the ROM cake is ready. I will be wearing accessories by Mori Pin (given to me as a wedding gift) and the dress will be revealed tomorrow.

Wish us both luck!

Wedding Video - Introduction

Wei Jien + Sue Lynn // Follow Them from Nigel Sia on Vimeo.

Hey all,

We are getting hitched really soon. 
Keep watching this space for more info!

Xoxo,

Sue Lynn & Wei Jien

The Marriage Preparation Course (Part 4)

Resolving Conflict

Conflict happens to us all the time and it gets more frequent when we enter a marriage. That’s because we’re all different and selfish by nature. In our marriage preparation course, Wei Jien and I learnt how to identify and deal with our differences. When we did the personality test during the first session of TMPC, one of our weaknesses was our inability to resolve conflicts effectively.

First, we identified the type of anger we have – rhino (explode) and hedgehog (bury). We both have rhino and hedgehog tendencies, but in general, I’m more of a rhino and he’s more of a hedgehog. Next, we were encouraged to look for solutions to the problems we faced.

The important thing we both learnt in this session was never to use words like, “You always…” and “You never…”. Many couples are guilty of making this mistake and it is going to take time (and effort) to change this. We're still guilty of making this mistake, but hope to overcome this in time. Prior to this, either one of us would have give in to the other whenever we faced conflict. This “I win, you lose” situation got us through the years, but it was hardly ideal. Now, we sit down, talk and listen to one another, and identify the issue. Once we agree on an action plan, we work on it together.

Marriage involves sharing everything. We’re moving from “I”, to “us”. It’s no longer my money, my car and my home. Instead we have to look at things from an “us” perspective – our money, our car and our home. That’s going to be difficult for many people, especially if you’ve been living independently for a long time. We also addressed our attitude towards money – Wei Jien and I are both ‘savers’, so that made things a bit better. It’s also good to discuss about who will manage the finances and do a yearly forecast of your expenses. Obviously, Wei Jien will be doing that.

With conflict, there’s bound to be hurt. That’s when we need to learn to put away our pride and say sorry. Asking for forgiveness and giving forgiveness is the only way a marriage can move forward. It makes sense, although I find it difficult to just forgive and move on in general. Yes, I’m one of those people who keep unresolved issues buried until shit hits the fan.

This session, together with sagely advices from our support couple (I’ll talk about that soon) gave Wei Jien and I pointers on how to deal with our differences. We’ve reduced interrupting each other and attempt to be more reasonable when it comes to finding a solution – the “US” solution. Not quite there yet, but it's only a matter of time...

Wedding prep: Make-up artist

I’ve been looking for a good make-up artist cum hairstylist for my big day. The make-up artist of my choice would cost me RM2K (discounted price) PER SESSION excluding hair since he’s a celebrity make-up artist. One of my readers recommended a makeup artist, who quoted me a reasonable amount for two make-up and hair sessions (morning and night). For the trial session, she charges an extra RM150.

The second make-up artist I found does the job for slightly cheaper (2 sessions + trial). He is a hairstylist by profession and does a lot of makeup shows. I like how he does my hair, but I’ve yet to see his makeup portfolio. I was at a concert when I saw the works of the third make-up artist. She did the makeup for the performers, and it was exactly the style I wanted. Her price quote was also reasonable for 2 sessions. Trial session requires and additional RM150. That said, I’m not sure about her hairstyling abilities yet. Both the second and third make-up artist do not own a website so it’s hard for me to gauge what they can do.

Earthy tones are my best bet

Any of you know a good makeup artist (who can do hair as well) who charges reasonably? To save money, I’ll be doing my own make-up and possibly hair for my ROM. If I had a choice, I'd do my own make-up for the "jip san leong" and wedding dinner too. But I'm only worried I'd mess up...because I might be nervous.

Oh, and here are a few hair tips for bride-to-bes:

• You know the saying styling dirty hair is easier than freshly washed hair? It’s a myth. Oily hair doesn’t work well with hairspray.
• Based on my personal experience, don’t use synthetic hair extensions if you plan to style it with your real hair. Human hair is a lot easier to style.

Wedding Video - Behind the Scenes

Over the past few months, I’ve been watching quite a bit of wedding videos to get a rough idea of how I want our video to be. As most of you know, we’ve engaged in the services of Nigel Sia, who will be our videographer for the ROM as well as the actual day. Apart from that, Nigel will also be coming with up with a video teaser and a special video highlighting our dating days…leading up to the proposal. So far, things are looking very positive.

Behind the scenes

We filmed our wedding video in July, and the whole process took 10 hours and spanned across 5 locations. Remember our meet-up with Nigel? That was when he talked to us about how we met, the highlights of our relationship and what we wanted for our video. A week before the video shoot, Nigel emailed us his proposed storyboard and things took off from there. I won’t reveal this special video until the wedding dinner (video will be uploaded on my blog after the wedding), but here’s a sneak peak/behind the scene of what we’ve worked on.

The school scene was a bit difficult because I had to get permission to enter our old school (new headmistress) and a decent looking classroom – government school, go figure – to do our filming. When I got that part settled, the next issue was getting a school uniform. Sylvia, my wedding planner’s assistant managed to find me a pinafore that fit just right. For this scene, Nigel told me I needed to look the part, so I skipped the make-up and changed my hairstyle (don't worry, I didn't cut my hair -- it's just a wig). I don’t know you, but I think the wig did the trick! I got mine from My Dream Cottage.

Nigel came with a team of ‘actors’ – Kel Li, Harinder, Jenkin, Daphne, Simon, Jason and Ren. Jason and Ren were there throughout the shoot, helping Nigel with the videography. The others helped make the school scene more believable. Thanks guys, for the effort! The one thing that struck me about Nigel (apart from his ability to conceptualise) was his attention to detail and structure. Things were done efficiently and with structure from the storyboard. He had a checklist of what we needed to do, which he used as a reference.

Nigel came equipped with five DSLRs (plus tripod, mike, slider…etc) for our video which he changed as and when he felt was needed. We had good fun throughout the 10-hour shoot. Nigel was very accommodative and easy to work with. For those who are looking for a videographer to do your wedding video, give Nigel a shout via email (hello@nigelsia.com) or twitter (twitter.com/nigelais)! You can also give him a ring at 016-384 4617.

*If you’re looking for a less conventional wedding video (ie: boring, bridal studio compilation), Nigel’s your man. But before you engage in his services, let me kindly remind you that he’s off limits on October 8 (first half of the day) and November 19 (full day) 2011. :)

Budgeting

Blog post by Wei Jien:

Before Sue Lynn and I started our wedding blog, my friends and colleagues always asked me, "How are the wedding preparations going?" I will always answer them the same thing -- "Okay-lah." This time around, they started making comments such as, "Seems like your wedding preparations are going well. We can't wait to attend it." It was the wedding blog they were keeping tabs on.

Like a business everything you do needs to be budgeted. Coming from an accounting and finance background, it was understood that I would handle the budget planning. From my last post "concept", I worked out our wedding budget. Once we had our wedding concept sorted out, we roughly knew what we wanted/needed to have in our wedding. From there on, we gathered as much information as we could to prepare the budget. In our case, it was a joint effort of the wedding planner and us.

After obtaining all the information needed, our wedding planner laid them on an excel sheet for easy-viewing. For me, preparing a budget was a piece of cake, but it's the "other forces” that were hard to fight. When we saw the budget total amount, both my fiancé and I tried cutting the expenses from top to bottom and most of the time it was by half!

The "other forces” I speak off in our case are our parents and the wedding planner. Whether you like it or not, these people will usually insist on including this and that, which will make the wedding at the end of the day, cost a bomb. We had 2 options to deal with this. First was to ignore all the wedding planner’s suggestions and keep both our parents in the dark with regards to the wedding. Second option was to ELOPE!!!

The first option would be the easiest way out, but what's the point of hiring a wedding planner if you are going to ignore all his/her suggestions? And somehow, you can never keep your parents in the dark especially when you come from a Chinese family. Also, eloping was never an option…however tempting it may be!

In the end, none of the options were ideal. We compromised, but the key here is achieving BALANCE. We accepted 50% of our wedding planner’s suggestions and 50% of our parents’ suggestion. Like it or not, a wedding planner is more experienced in this field, having planned hundreds of weddings. He/she would know the wedding protocols and what should be included in the wedding. And since our parents often have better insight, they will have some valuable feedbacks which we could learn from, based on their own wedding experience.

A budget is often easy to prepare but do expect your final budget to be different (often more expensive) compared to the initial version. Other forces can be a pain to deal with and might even put a strain on your budgeting. It might not be the wedding planner or the parents who cause this strain. The problem might be caused by the couple's friends/acquaintance, or it could even be due to poor economy (high inflation or recession). Whatever the factors may be, just remember that is the key to good budgeting is BALANCE.

The Marriage Preparation Course - Support Couple

"LEARN TO COMPLIMENT MORE THAN TO COMPROMISE." 

That was one of the few advices our support couple gave us. After doing the couple's personality test, Wei Jien and I were assigned a support couple who would help us address our strengths and weaknesses as a couple. We were invited into their home and dined with the whole family. It also gave us a sense of perspective what to expect in future.


Once we were done with dinner, we discussed our test results. True enough, the results were as we predicted. Our strengths lie in our willingness to be open to each other, our understanding of one another and our similar interests. However, we need to work more on how to resolve conflicts and managing our very different personalities. Wei Jien and I are total opposites.


All this while, we've learnt to work around the conflicts but never really addressed the root of the problem -- our personality. After a long discussion, we realized this problem might seem minor for now, but once we move in together and start a family, things will get complicated with the unaddressed conflicts.


By the end of the night, I realized there's so much more required in a marriage than just love, commitment, compatibility, communication and patience. For Wei Jien, he has a better understanding of what to expect in the future when problems arise.

Our support couple taught us this, "You build trust over trust". If your partner knows he/she can tell you anything and everything without being worried you might react badly/use it against them, then he/she will be able to trust you with their deepest emotions. They will share their problems and thoughts with you. That is one of the key foundations to a strong marriage. To me, it's easier said than done. But for the marriage to work, we're going to try our best. 


**We were at their place for dinner again last night, addressing issues such as managing finances and setting life goals as a couple. I found that session difficult, and the questions/obstacles given by our support couple got Wei Jien and I tongue-tied for a while. All this while, we thought we had everything covered and planned out. The fact that we failed to solve a few difficult questions made us realise, that there was still so much to learn and so many areas to strengthen.  

The Marriage Preparation Course (Part 3)

The third session of our marriage preparation course touched on commitment. Until recently, I always assumed marriage was just a formality. A step after being in a stable relationship. It is a step after, but marriage means much more than that. Being committed to your partner means factoring him/her into your life. It’s no longer about ‘Me”. It’s now, “Us”. 


Marriage is the closest of human relationships; it is the ideal companionship, in my opinion. A friend once told me, "Aiya...cohabitation is about the same thing as marriage. And I don't have to spend so much money on a wedding." I think marriage is a stronger form of commitment. It is the unity of two beings and a lifetime commitment.

From what I understand, commitment means investing in the marriage, spending quality time with one another and making a point to know what’s happening in each other’s life. A strong marriage requires great commitment and trust, which can break the cycle of failed relationships. No matter how busy the both of you may be, it is always advisable to unwind together and keep abreast with what is happening. The last thing you would want is for your partner to relate his/her worries, feelings and thoughts with colleagues.


Having common interest(s) helps; you can enjoy your favourite activities while spending time together. For example, the both of you may enjoy swimming. Then make it a point to go for swims together and spend time with one another. Setting aside marriage time is very important as it keeps love and romance alive. Date nights at least once a week is good, and make it a point to go for mini vacations together. That way, it will help rekindle romance and strengthen the marriage.


We also learnt that no human being is the same, so there will be times where you don't share the same interests with your partner. In such cases, try setting time aside for the both of you to do the things you love, separately. Wei Jien plays badminton on Tuesday and sometimes futsal on Wednesdays. During that time he spends with his friends, I go out for dinner/drinks with my girlfriends. So far, it has worked for us. He comes home feeling good after a few games, and I come home happy after a few drinks.


Another thing we've learnt is to deal with change of loyalties towards our parents. After marriage, there will be a new centre of gravity, and a new priority: your spouse. This session taught us how to manage emotions and deal with this new structure.The sofa couple that day spoke about how they dealt with their in-laws and living arrangements when they got married -- they live with the husband's mother.


Living with the in-laws isn't ideal for many, but for some, it can be a blessing when you learn a bit of give and take, and respect your in-law's house rules. I also learnt the keyword INTERFACE. For example, say you're not pleased with how your mother-in-law interrupts quality time between the both of you. It is not appropriate (and also not your place) to talk to your mother-in-law about that. Your husband will need to act as an interface and talk to his mother with regards to that matter. He needs to be the one who sets the boundaries. The same thing goes if the situation was reversed. I can't expect Wei Jien to talk to my mother regarding conflicts. I need to be the interface for that.


We will be living with his parents for about a year after we get married, while waiting for our new place to be ready so we found what the sofa couple shared with us very helpful.

FACES Magazine - The Proposal Story

Check out our proposal story in FACES Magazine July/August 2011 issue!

Pre-wedding Photoshoot: Missing Wedding Dress!

I thought I had the pre-wedding photoshoot all planned out. I booked the dresses I wanted, prepared the face ampoules for both Wei Jien and I, coloured my hair, scheduled for my manicure and pedicure session a day before the photoshoot and booked the restaurant of my choice for the outdoor photoshoot. Everything was going according to plan...until I got a phone call from my bridal studio at 5.30pm today (Tuesday, July 5, 2011).

My Lace Wedding Gown

"Sue Lynn ah, I have something to tell you. But please don't be angry," said Fiona, the bridal shop assistant. "The lace gown you reserved for the pre-wedding isn't available," she said, nervously. Apparently, a customer who rented the same gown before me took it to the US, and couldn't bring it back on time for MY pre-wedding photo shoot. She was scheduled to bring it back a week before my shoot, but due to some god-knows-what emergency, she couldn't do so. 

I almost popped a vein!

"What the hell am I going to do without my dress?!!" I replied. All Fiona could do was to apologize repeatedly. I was pissed that this happened, and of all people, TO ME! That was my favourite dress of the 4 dresses I selected, and it had to be the one missing. "I'm not going to try on other gowns! This is the bridal studio's fault. FIX THE PROBLEM!!" I hollered. I was furious. Called Christy (one of my bridesmaid) crying, and she quickly came to see me.


The only solution was to go to the bridal studio and see the alternative gowns Fiona has set aside for me. To be honest, I knew it wasn't entirely her fault. But it was the carelessness of the bridal studio and that customer. Getting to SS2 was horrible; traffic jam, foul mood and all that. At the bridal studio, I hated almost everything I saw.


Fiona tried her best to find me replacement gowns, but I didn't like any of them. They didn't fit me right and I didn't feel comfortable wearing them. "No, no, no. I don't like any of these," I said, frowning. Christy too, didn't like the alternative gowns. They didn't have the wow factor, the way the lace gown had on me. "Why didn't you tell me this earlier? Why wait until 3 days before the photo shoot to break the news to me?!!" I asked. Before Fiona could answer that question, her colleague intercepted and said, "Aiyo...the bride like that, so how? We also don't want this to happen ma. But already happen, so what to do?"

I even have my face ampoules ready

That "I-don't-give-a-shit reply" enraged me and I told that girl off. Never ruin an apology with an excuse, especially if it's a stupid one. According to Christy, I wasn't even mean to the girls, but Fiona teared up. I had to tell her I wasn't pissed at her, but at the customer and the lack of attention from the bridal studio. After trying more than 10 gowns and rejecting all, I was getting restless and annoyed. This whole thing was a waste of my time. And Christy's time too. All because a selfish bride didn't want to return the dress on time.


Three to four assistants scrambled around the whole shop trying to look for a good enough replacement. They even brought out their brand new gowns for me to try. Usually, new gowns carry an additional surcharge, but they were prepared to waive that for their error. I wasn't impressed with the gowns, new or not. None of them looked like my lace gown and I didn't like the princess cut most of them carried. My lace gown was a mermaid cut.


In the end, I had to settle for a diamante detailed-bridal gown from the new collection. It was no where as nice as the full lace gown I selected, but that was the best of the dresses I've tried. Anyway, I'm just really upset, hence this blogpost.

The Marriage Preparation Course (Part 2)

Our second session of TPMC (The Marriage Preparation Course) started off pretty bumpy. See, Wei Jien and I had an argument right before that and I would rather spend 3 hours strangling him than to proceed with the course. But the subject that week was communication and how important good communication is for a strong foundation in marriage.

How to listen to your other half. I believe I speak for the ladies -- we want a husband/partner who can listen and empathize with our situation. Many of us listen, but do we REALLY pay attention to what our other half is saying? What he/she is going through? How he/she feels? Because of that, we fail to understand what is really bothering our partners and the reason they are upset. The key to this is to listen, reflect, listen and EMPATHIZE.


To be honest, when I'm ranting to Wei Jien about work or someone I dislike, I want him to just listen to the crap I holler out. Not give me solutions like..."You should do this, this and this so your boss will stop giving you problems," or "You should treat her this way so you'll feel better." Many of us don't want a problem solver; we want a good listener. The problem solver is a secondary thing, from what I understand and personally feel. 


We also learnt about how different families and upbringing methods mould who we are and what we expect in when we enter a marriage. When I first had dinner with his family and extended family, I was overwhelmed by their constant chatter. But after a few months, I was able to blend in, enjoy their company and follow their conversations.


Wei Jien on the other hand found dinners with my family extremely quiet and serious. I don't blame him. We hardly ate together as a family when I was growing up, simply because we were so pressed for time. I had night tuitions, my father worked late, brother had classes...etc. We only ate together during weekends, and even so, not with relatives. So that's a big difference in terms of our family upbringing. 


Then there are habits of our parents that influence us, in more ways than we would like. My mother never allowed me to use the microwave when I was growing up, but Wei Jien's family uses the microwave for almost everything...including boiling water! I didn't get that, and until today, I don't. 

If there was one sagely advice a support couple gave us that day, it was this: The both of you are playing the same team. It's not about being right or winning. It's about teamwork and understanding, something many couples fail to comprehend. I believe that is one of my biggest weaknesses. I always think Wei Jien is attacking me when he talks about how upset he feels with some of my actions. But what he really wanted was to voice his innermost feelings. The same applies for me too. I guess that's something we need to work on more.


This isn't something we can fix overnight. After all, marriage takes practice, effort and hard work. Like every other thing you do, the more effort you put in, the better you get. We're never going to stop learning about each other. I've known Wei Jien for more than 13 years, and I'm still learning new things about him as the relationship progresses.

Come to think of it, this course isn't so bad after all. It has so far, helped us understand our problems and address them in a proper, loving and more appropriate way. But that doesn't mean we won't have conflicts. We will always have conflicts as we are two very different individuals. However, I hope to learn more about resolving conflicts in the next session this coming Saturday.


Oh...and we went home not feeling angry at each other after that session. :)

The Marriage Preparation Course (Part 1)

Wei Jien and I attended the first session of our wedding preparation course last Saturday. Truth be told, I only enrolled for this because both our parents insisted on it. Also, a good friend of mine thought it would help prepare us for a life of togetherness. I guess it helped him prepare for marriage. 

We made our way to class in Damansara Perdana -- Wei Jien, with an open mind and myself, with my guard up. I'm usually very hesitant when it comes to things I'm unsure of, and this course was one of them. We joined 5 other couples in this marriage preparation course. The people conducting the course were very friendly and understood my reservations. They assured me that my privacy will not be invaded and I can remain in my comfort zone throughout the 6 weeks. That eased my tension, a little.


During the first session, we were asked to do a couple's compatibility test. 165 questions and we had to shade the answers...just like UPSR, PMR and SPM. That was my least favourite part of the course. Wei Jien felt the same way. Support couples (those who have been happily married for years and some who went through the course previously) were there to share their thoughts and experiences. 

Scenarios such as, "Where to live?", "Who takes care of the baby?", "Who does the cooking", "Who should contribute more to the household finances?" and "Who does the chores?" were addressed. We were also asked to label these things according to their importance to us:

1) Myself

2) My spouse

3) My children

4) My work

5) My community

The answers from all of us varied. Even Wei Jien's answers and mine weren't the same. But we were encouraged to talk about it and reason with each other on why we chose our answers. I won't tell you what our answers were, but why don't you do this mini test with your spouse, girlfriend or fiancee? It does help see where the relationship is heading. 

The groom's role in a wedding

Note: This is a guest post by Wei Jien. I like that he puts in a lot of effort in the planning process. Heck, he came up with most of the wedding ideas. I just nodded my head in agreement! LOL

The stone-age mentality would be something like this:

JUST ATTEND THE WEDDING.

Think like that...and you'll be digging your own grave. My role as a groom in our wedding is slightly different.

As many of you know, we have engaged in the services of a wedding planner. But the biggest misconception people have is that with a wedding planner, the couple can just sit back and relax. Well you can, but that means you will be attending someone else's wedding. In my opinion, the most important part of a wedding is the concept.

Concept is the general idea of your wedding. How the wedding generally flows will stem from this very idea. Do not underestimate this, as a concept can easily get lost in the midst of planning.

Imagine you are half way planning your wedding. You've chosen your hotel, your gown, your card design, your flower arrangements...and they all are what you've dreamt of since you were a child. But when it comes to things that you are less familiar with, you will ask your wedding planner for example, suggestions for the grand table decor, the design of the backdrop...etc.

The wedding planner will then throw you 1001 suggestions, based on his/her experience and understanding. What will an average joe do? Choose the nicest suggestion, obviously. But does it really suit your ambiance you have already chosen?

Wedding ambiance example

Having a concept guides you through the planning process. When in doubt, the couple can always revert back to the concept and decide from there. My role here was to come up with the concept. Just before Chinese New Year, my fiance asked me this very important question, "What are we going to do for the wedding?!" Think carefully guys. This question has more booby trap then the raider of the lost ark (in case you dont know, Indiana Jones).

What she's really asking is not for specifics like what cake or what flowers you should get; she is asking for your idea of the wedding aka concept. Most guys will normally answer "anything-lah". Two things will then pop into her head; "Does this guy even want to marry me? Seems like he doesn't even care about it" OR "Muahaha...let's spend all his hard-earned money".

Well, I sure as hell didn't want anything like that to happen and I am sure none of you guys would want to face that scenario. It is important to merge your concept with both your personalities. For example, both my fiance and I do not like flowers, so I came up with a concept that fitted our wants and want-nots.

The next step after the concept...is history. What have the both of you done together in the past that is significant to the relationship? What have you done individually that both of you have crossed paths with? For example: a couple might have met while diving since they both like the ocean and together they have visited some of the most beautiful coral reefs in the world. Then, it might be good to go with a concept that involves the sun, sea and sand.

Concept is never easy to come up with. It requires a long and thorough thinking process; what advertising people would call "chain of ideas". Guys, give it some thought before answering your lady (*if you know what I mean) and ladies, please give your man some space (with an open mind), I am sure he has some ideas the both of you might fancy.

Nyonya Beaded Shoes

Many people ask me how the wedding preps are going. Almost everywhere I go, I get this, "So how are things with the wedding?" Well, to be honest, I don't quite know. I haven't had the time to sit down with my wedding planner (who is and has been in charge of things since March this year - yay!).

rif's mother started making my Nyonya beaded shoes -- the process looks painfully difficult. I think I would go blind if I were to ever attempt such a feat. Oh well, I'm lucky she's fond of me and wants to do it. :)

This is only the start, but it looks beautiful to me. Anyone knows where I can get stiletto heels to attach the beaded artwork on? I don't want to wear the chunky, low-heeled shoes most Nyonya shoes come with. Would be great if Peranakans out there could share some tips!

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Cake Designers

Picture credit: google.com

Wei Jien and I decided to go for the mock cake provided by our hotel because we cannot afford to get a real cake. Little did I know, a good friend of mine, Charles decided to buy us a cake as his wedding gift to us. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

Us, with the heavenly duo

Talented bakers and friends Allan and Nigel of Just Heavenly Pleasures will be baking and designing our wedding cake according to the theme. No, I won't be revealing the theme just yet. Just Heavenly has offered to cover half of the cake cost as their wedding gift to us. Thank you so much!

Talking designs and ideas

We got together to talk about cake designs recently -- how it should look, how a certain design would suit the wedding theme, etc. I've never tried their wedding cakes, but I've tried almost all the cakes sold at Just Heavenly outlets. If you haven't tried any, shame on you! Go try. Their banana cream pie and death by chocolate is to-die-for. And don't forget the apple crumble cheesecake.

Picture credit: google.com

Picture credit: google.com

Anyway, Wei Jien and I are very pleased and excited about this. Our wedding guests will get to eat REAL cake, not just the boxed fruit cake slices provided by the hotel. Guest will still get to eat the fruit cake while waiting for us to walk down the aisle and cut the wedding cake.

So cute right this cake topper?!

Picture credit: google.com

Still semi-pissed at the hotel and florist. But that's for the wedding planner to handle. I'm just hoping she can help us bring the cost down, as the miscellaneous expenses are paid for by both myself and Wei Jien -- and the that amount can buy us a brand new car.

Wedding photographers...and old linens

While my wedding planner has most things under control, I can’t help but feel slightly worried about a few things. That includes the wedding venue and one of my photographers.


Christy (one of my bridesmaids) went for a wedding dinner at GD hotel last Saturday and she told me how horribly things went. She took pictures of the whole setup and it was an eye-rolling disaster. I hated almost everything I saw.

Spot the holes!

The linens had holes and they were very noticeable! For a 5-star hotel (yes, I just found out GD is a 5-star hotel), this is totally unacceptable. The bow for the chairs are passé and unsightly, while the fairy lights for the backdrop have seen better days. Parts of the lights were not working, so there were dark patches on the backdrop.

Gold bow? >_<

According to her, the food was not bad. I guess that's partly why my parents wanted to have the wedding dinner at GD. Honestly, I’ve been to 4 weddings at this hotel, and the food was not too bad. I hope the food standard remains this good for my wedding. Presentation and service however, were lacking. Many of the staff were part-timers and they had no clue on how to serve guests.


Christy’s observation was that her waiter stacked up the dirty plates and dumped them into the empty food dish at the centre of the table before carrying it away. How elegant. *roll eyes* Also, the waiter did not replace the plates after clearing away the dirty ones. When Christy asked for Sprite, the waiter told her, “No more”. But there were quite a few bottles left outside the ballroom.


The flower arch is a big no-no for me. Not only does it not fit our wedding theme, it’s also quite ugly. Apparently, the sound system was quite bad and the LCD projectors were not clear enough. Adamas Weddings will be sorting those things out for me.

Mike, with U Mei & I

Michael Yip has agreed to become one of my photographers. He’s good with ambient pictures and I like that he doesn’t make me look fat in pictures. Wei Jien wants Mike to be on the groom’s side for the “jip san leong", and he’s hoping Mike can make him look 10 pounds slimmer (I told him to hit the gym instead). LOL ☺


So far, Mike has been pretty easy to deal with and my planner finds him very pleasant. He’s quick in reverting, which makes things a lot easier for them, and me! Heck, he even offered to teach me how to dance...the bachata. Sorry-lah Mike, I have two left feet and I might end up stepping on you! And I can’t sway my hips the way you do!

My other photographer has been slow in reverting. Adamas Weddings found it difficult to contact him and getting him to send in his quote. He has been busy, but I hope he can give me a quotation/confirmation by the end of April. Otherwise, I’m forced to look for another photographer. We need 2 photographers for the wedding dinner, because I need one photographer all for myself. It’s my big day...so let me be vain!