Western Wedding Tradition

rif’s mother showed me this poem over dinner last night. Curious, I did some search on Google and found my discoveries too interesting not to share!

Something old, something new
Something borrowed, something blue
And a silver sixpence in her shoe.

Each item in this poem is said to represent a good-luck token for the bride. If she carries all of them on her wedding day, her marriage will be happy.

*picture credits: google.com


"Something old" symbolises continuity with the bride's family and the past. To symbolise this link, brides would wear a piece of antique family jewellery or select something from the mother's or grandmother's wedding gown. Other things that may be chosen include a handkerchief, a scarf or a piece of lace.

Suggestions I found online:

- Use a classic car for wedding day transportation
- Place an antique bookmark to mark ceremony readings
- Use a childhood pillow for the ring bearer’s pillow
- Get a relative’s monogrammed handkerchief
- Display wedding photographs of parents, grandparents, or great-grandparents at the reception
- Find an antique tussy mussy (a conical hand-held bouquet vase) for the bride’s bouquet
- Get a vintage purse to match the bride’s gown
- Have the wedding at a historic location
- Have the bride carry a childhood treasure she has saved like a ring, bracelet, small doll, locket, etc.

Wear my mum's necklace?

Or maybe her diamond earrings...

- Bring out the heirloom jewellery to wear like an engagement ring or wedding band, a brooch, earrings, a bracelet, a necklace, or some sparkly hair pins
- Tuck an antique hat pin into the bride’s bouquet
- Carry a vintage pill box
- Sew a button from one of the bride’s father’s old coats on the inside of the bride’s gown at the hem or place it in her purse
- Give the bride a vintage compact mirror for her purse
- Get a champagne glass to smash during the ceremony from a relative’s wedding or anniversary
- Wear a headpiece, tiara, or veil that has been handed down
- Wear vintage white gloves
- Take some of mother’s or grandmother’s wedding gown fabric or lace and sew it inside the bride’s gown or to her petticoat
- Display the parents’ cake toppers or use it as the wedding cake topper
- Tuck a love letter saved by the bride’s mother from the bride’s father into the bride’s purse
- Carry a wedding photo of parents’ or grandparents’ in the bride’s purse
- Display a photograph of the bride as a little girl or carry it in the bride’s purse.

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"Something new" represents optimism and hope for the bride's new life ahead. It could be anything that is purchased new for the wedding -- wedding flowers, wedding rings, wedding shoes...etc. Wearing a new item on your wedding day conveys the message that you are are creating a new union that will endure forever.

Suggestions I found online:

- Buy a new lipstick in a pretty shade
- Have a custom perfume designed for the bride

New white wedding shoes

- Purchase a new makeup bag or new purse to use on the day of the wedding
- Get a bouquet made of silk flowers, a new tussy mussy to hold a fresh flower bouquet, or a crystal bouquet
- Find a new charm for the bride’s charm bracelet
- Select a new jewellery item to wear on the day of the wedding like a bracelet, earrings, a necklace, or an anklet
- Treat the bride to a pair of new luxurious silk stockings
- Give the bride new lingerie to wear under her gown or on her honeymoon
- Get a sun parasol to keep the bride cool in between all of those photographs
- Treat the bride to a new haircut, new highlights, or new hair extensions
- Purchase a special guest book with extra room for guests to include a personal note at the wedding
- Drive a new car for the bride’s wedding day transportation
- Pack some mints or a stick of gum
- Experiment with a new henna tattoo kit
- Give the bride a new fancy collar or outfit for her pup or kitty

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"Something borrowed" is usually an item from a happily married friend or family member, whose good fortune in marriage is supposed to carry over to the new bride. The borrowed item also reminds the bride that her friends and family will be there for her on the special day and in the future when help is needed. Anything can be borrowed, but it must be returned afterwards.

Suggestions I found online:

- Let the groom borrow the grandfather’s pocket watch or have the bride carry it in her purse
- Include flowers from the bride’s grandparents’ garden in floral arrangements at the wedding or in the bride’s bouquet
- Borrow father’s silk handkerchief
- Use aunt’s prayer book during the ceremony
- Borrow a long-time family friends’ timeshare for your honeymoon
- Borrow the song from the bride’s (or groom’s) parents’ wedding to dance to
- Have the wedding at a borrowed location like the bride’s parents’ backyard or country club
- Borrow a cell phone
- Use a best friend’s strapless bra for the day
- Borrow a headpiece or hair baubles

- Use someone’s silver knife to cut the cake with at the reception
- Wear borrowed jewellery from a happily married gal pal
- Borrow a button-down shirt or robe for the bride to wear while getting her hair and makeup done
- Borrow the flower girl or ring bearer from a friend’s wedding

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“Something blue” symbolises purity, modesty, and faithfulness. The blue item can be anything – garter, necklace pendant or blue-themed wedding flowers. In the olden days, people used to wear blue wedding gowns. “Marry in blue, lover be true,” so the proverb says.

Suggestions I found online:

- Use blue confetti

- Wear a blue Garter
- Decorate with blue balloons at the reception
- Have the groom wear a blue suit
- Wear an ice-blue wedding gown or a blue sash on the wedding gown
- Use blue ribbon or flowers in the bride’s bouquet or on the groom’s boutonniere
- Paint the bride’s toenails or fingernails with blue nail polish
- Have the florist use blueberries in the table centerpieces
- Apply blue eye shadow (after Miss Universe Malaysia 2008, no freaking way am I going to let anyone put blue eye shadow on me!)
- Wear blue-tinted contact lens
- Sprinkle the bride’s skin lightly with sparkly blue body glitter

I'm considering striking blue shoes now! :)

- Wear blue shoes
- Dress in a blue underskirt or petticoat

- Wear sapphire, tanzanite, opals, or aqua marine jewellery
- Use a blue-stone tiara
- Drive a blue car for transportation
- Carry a blue purse
- Pack blue lingerie for the honeymoon
- Get a pretty new blue scarf or handkerchief
- Tie a blue thread around your finger

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“A silver sixpence in her shoe” represents wealth and financial security. The sixpence is traditionally placed in the bride’s left shoe, but it can also be carried in the bride’s purse or sewn into the hem or lining of her gown. These days, a dime or a copper penny is used as a substitute and many brides have found other ways to interpret this wedding custom by using different items and carrying the item instead of placing it in their shoes.

Suggestions I found online:

- Buy a silver sixpence to use for the wedding
- Use an old coin from the country of the bride or groom’s ancestry. This could also double as the “something old” item.
- Get a mint coin for the bride to carry. This could also double as the “something new” item.
- Pack travellers checks if the newlyweds are honeymooning out of the country
- Carry another valuable object like a different coin, jewellery, or a bill in the denomination of the bride or groom’s ancestry

Thinking out loud:

Wedding bands are smooth, simple circles signifying eternity and are supposed to ensure an endless marriage. If my wedding band has diamonds on it, does it mean I’ll have a bumpy and difficult marriage?

So if my wedding band looks like this, how?!

Wedding Tea Set

*Picture credits: google.com

Nyonya tea set

Apparently, the bride's side is supposed to prepare the wedding teapot for the tea ceremony. Wei Jien's mother asked if I wanted to get a Nyonya tea set. Since I'll be wearing a red Nyonya Kebaya instead of a kua (at his place), the Nyonya tea set would look quite lovely.


But I don't mind the traditional Chinese tea set with red Oriental details.

The cartoon tea set is cute, but it's not our style...

What do you think?

Wedding Emcee

I initially had an emcee for our wedding dinner. A friend of mine offered to be my emcee as a wedding gift. I agreed, because he's quite a good emcee. I spoke to the wedding planner's assistant and gave his contact number to her.

A week later, the assistant called and told me he wasn't very happy that he was required to sign an agreement. See (if what she told me was completely unbiased), she asked him for his full name & details to draft the agreement. He found it very insulting, as it was his wedding gift to me.

I understand his point and feel bad that he got hurt (I overlooked this matter) -- he saw it as lack of trust from my side. I however intended for it to be a reminder of my wedding day, as he constantly travels out of the country for work. Oh well, the damage has been done and I've lost my emcee and quite possible, a friend. :(

ROM - Marriage Registration

Wei Jien and I were told that we would need to spend about RM7,000 if we want to have the ROM in my house garden. That's way too expensive as we're only prepared to pay RM1,500 for the ROM!

House Garden ROM (picture credit: Wedding Guide Asia)

Hotel Garden ROM (picture credit: Wedding Guide Asia)

Wei Jien's sister's Indoor Garden Wedding @ The Royale Chulan

It's going to be a small do with our closest friends and family (40-50 people). The RM7,000 includes flowers, food & beverage and a small tent just in case the weather god decides to give us a wedding shower.

I'm thinking of this type of flower deco for my ROM...(hopefully it's economical) :)

We discussed this with a few friends and worked out a reasonable cost for an ROM party. Assuming we serve some light refreshments/brunch (RM30-35 per pax), it should only cost us RM1,200 (RM1,500 max). I doubt we can afford to make it an alcoholic ROM, although I would love for it to be one.

We also realized that choosing a bare venue (like my garden) would require more work and money to dress the place up. It's a different scenario if we opt for a hotel ROM, as the package would already include decorations. I've emailed a few hotels and restaurants, and am currently waiting for them to revert with their packages.

Martha Stewart tea tin centrepieces (pictures from google.com)

At the rate this goes, I'm worried we won't be able to have the ROM we want, as our tight budget does not permit. But I can't stand the thought of going to Putrajaya to register our marriage…

Anyone has a solution for this? Good venue suggestions maybe? I would love a garden/poolside ROM.

Bridal Bouquet

It baffles me how flowers can cost so much just for a wedding. Someone told me she spent close to RM30,000 (THIRTY THOUSAND RINGGIT!!) on flower decorations for her wedding last year. After the event ended, 90% of the flowers went to waste. Maybe I should be a florist; I'll definitely earn more than what I'm getting as a writer.

Picture credit: google.com

Even a simple bridal bouquet cost more than RM150 and the flowers will wither after 3 days. For RM150, I would rather get a chocolate/cookie bouquet....then I can snack on them in case I’m hungry during the reception.

Picture credit: Finest Expressions

At the moment, I’m so tempted to cut some of my neighbour’s flowers and turn them into my bridal bouquet. But if I do so, she might never talk to me again...

Bummer

A few newly-weds shared this with me over the Chinese New Year holidays:


1) They did not enjoy their wedding celebration


2) They did not know 70% of the guests


3) Alcohol costed a bomb

4) Flowers were ridiculously expensive

5) Fancy invitation cards were a waste of money...and trees


6) They blamed their mother/mother-in-law for insisting on a traditional ceremony


7) If they had a second chance, they'd elope far far away


Great... o_0