The Ang Pau Giving Guide

I wish someone shared this with me before I got hitched so I can ‘educate’ some uninitiated guests on the ang pau giving protocol. While it’s a bit too late for me and rif, it’s still not too late for those who are getting married to take note of this.

To the Chinese, ang pau symbolizes prosperity they are given during weddings as a good blessing to the couple. Of course, the content of the red packet matters – it helps the newly-weds offset their wedding dinner cost. I’m not saying you have to fork out and arm and a leg for the ang pau, but at least be reasonable when giving them.

Please don’t attend a wedding dinner at a 5-star hotel with a family of 10 and give a RM500 ang pau or worse, come empty handed. That’s just ridiculous. For those of you who don’t know how much wedding dinners cost these days, here’s a rough guide*:

Based on my experience in calling at least 20 hotels and 5 Chinese restaurants for my wedding dinner last year (November 2011), here’s my rough estimate of how much a wedding dinner cost per pax (factor-in an increase of 5-10% for year 2012).

Other factors that can affect the above:

• If the wedding is on Mon-Thurs: Give 90 – 95% of the weekend rate.
• If your sibling or best friend is getting married: Add 50%.
• If your ex or frenemy is getting married: Deduct 50%. *If it were my ex, I wouldn’t give an ang pau.
• If the wedding couple gave you a lousy sum when you got married: It’s payback time!
• If you obviously got a last-minute, fill-seat invite: Deduct 30%.
• If you RSVP-ed but can’t make it at the last minute: You still need to give an ang pau; at least 50% of the amount. It’s not nice to have empty seats on the couple’s big day.
• If you are a thrifty guest but want ‘face’: Call the hotel beforehand and ask for the rates.

*Note that this also depends on your budget. Give what you can afford and I'm sure the bride and groom are more than happy that you're there for their big day.

So now that you know how much weddings cost these days, do give accordingly when you attend future weddings. For those who are getting married, send a gentle reminder to your guests don't expect the ang pau to cover the cost of your dinner. That way, you can spare yourself the teeth-gritting later on.

Hope this helps!