Wedding Summary

I still get emails from people regarding my wedding i.e.: how much was the wedding dinner, how much did I pay for flower décor, where did I get my dresses, my bridesmaids dresses, my shoes, my makeup artist, my hairstylist, my alcohol, my cake...etc.

A few asked about the subject of ang pau, which I blogged about and shared on Facebook. But after receiving not-so-nice comments from others for trying to help these brides (who went around sharing my FB link and didn’t even bother to clarify things to help me), I’ve decided not to help out that way anymore.

Anyway, here’s what happened on my actual wedding day:

Got up at 5am to shower. Jamie arrived at 6.30am to do my hair and makeup. Christy and Jeen came over by 7am to get ready for the jip san leong games. The photographer and videographer came pretty early to set up as well. I wanted to wear my hair down, but Jamie wanted to do a Jessica Alba inspired hairdo as it would look nicer with the veil on. Everyone liked the end result, including me. I had on minimal makeup because it was the morning ceremony.

Wei Jien took longer to arrive – I suspect it was his tactic to stall time because we had to leave my house by 10.30am. Chis! According to the fortune teller, if we leave my family home after 11am, it won’t be good for the marriage and the family.

I should have instructed for some pain to be induced upon the guys, as they were teasing us girls about how ‘painless’ the whole process was. WTF. My girls wanted to wax them and torture them with vinegar shots, but I (stupidly) felt bad so I told them to be nicer. If I knew they were going to be so cocky, I would have told the girls to torture them more!

After the tea ceremony at my place, we went over to his house and changed into my red kebaya. Hanim had to help me pin the kebaya top since she was better at this. And I forgot to bring my sarong buckle FML. While figuring out how to tie the damn sarong his mother came in to see why I took so long.

She had no spare buckle so I pinned my sarong with Wei Jien’s nephew’s nappy pin. Who cares…no one could see. Lol! By the way, I bought the kebaya and sarong from a shop in Jalan Tunku Abdul Rahman. I didn’t think it was necessary to spend a fortune on making one just for my wedding. The whole outfit cost me RM180. :)

For more pictures of the Morning Ceremony, click on the Picasa folder below:

Wedding Tea Ceremony (Part 1)

Once the tea ceremony was done, we packed our things and went to the hotel to rest and get ready for the dinner. I didn’t prepare my vows yet so I sat in my walk-in wardrobe to finish it while Wei Jien went downstairs to see how the ballroom set-up was coming along. By 4.30pm, my emcee arrived and I went down for the dry run. Went up to the bridal suite at 5pm to do my hair and makeup and fell asleep while at it.

The guys had pizza for dinner but I chose to skip it because my dresses were small. I ate carrot sticks and 3 pieces of chocolate for energy. Silly me asked the seamstress to “make it as tight as possible” so it was impossible to eat in those dresses. At least they looked nice and that’s most important to me. I think the tightest gown was the short cocktail dress – it was the hardest to breathe in.





I had four gown changes and three walk-ins with smoke machine and all the works. I didn’t get to eat but was told by my guests and family members that the food was quite good by hotel standards. For those guests who found the food disappointing, you had your chance to tell me/my wedding planning team that night, but you didn’t. So forever hold your peace.

[/caption] I’m glad I got a new (and more efficient) liaison manager from Grand Dorsett – Kok Pin. He was very detailed about things and did his best in accommodating my wishes. I had a specific idea of how I wanted the floral arrangement to be and showed him some examples. He not only got the florist to do a similar version; he even upgraded the centerpiece for my VIP table! I only found out when I entered the ballroom and thought it was beautiful. Thank you, Kok Pin!



Jamie the makeup artist was such a darling. She stayed back until 11pm that night and custom-designed my hair pieces according to my gowns. And I only sent her pictures of my gowns 3-4 days before the wedding. I think she did a good job with my make-up – she made my eyes bigger and even matched the theme while at it. I’m so glad I stalked found her.

Chai Wei from Mori Pin gave me a beautiful set of jewellery as a wedding gift together with the neckpiece I wore during my ROM. I wore it with my main wedding gown and blue mermaid gown, and it sparkled like real diamonds. They were imported from Korea and the workmanship was good. If you’re looking for good jewelry, go check out Mori Pin in Bangsar Shopping Centre and Bangsar Village II.

My tiara was a gift from Christy, who bought it for me when she was in Bangkok. It’s beautiful and I love it. Thanks girl! It was Jeen’s birthday that day and she was at my place at 7am doing her maid of honour duties with Christy. And they were both there to help me squeeze into my wedding gowns that night. And my gowns were laced up, not zipper style. Poor them!

Nigel Sia did a good job with our videos – Love Story, ROM & Actual Day. You can view them below or on my blog sidebar. Every important detail was captured and he was very creative with the whole process. Even the songs he chose were perfect. Michael Yip came to help with the photography, because rif happens to be quite vain. Thanks Mike, for making time for our big day!

Wei Jien + Sue Lynn // This Way Darling (2011) from Nigel Sia on Vimeo.

Wei Jien + Sue Lynn // ROM Highlights (2011) from Nigel Sia on Vimeo.

Wei Jien + Sue Lynn // Wedding Highlights (2011) from Nigel Sia on Vimeo.

My gowns were courtesy Venetian Bridal House and they were altered and custom-tweaked to what I wanted. The main white gown had a deep heart-shape neckline with an elaborate train. It was initially a plain gown but I wanted the bodice to be beaded with pearls and sequins for extra bling and it took them one month to do it for me. Tqtqtq!

The final gown was a see-through nude gown and yes, that’s my skin you’re seeing. I was initially hesitant to put it on, but my wedding planner and mother insisted it was THE finale gown. Venetian was such a life saver after my horrible experience at La Sposa, who messed up my gowns and rif’s suits. By the way, my mum’s evening gown was also from Venetian.

Our wedding cake was gorgeous and tasted good too. It was a dark chocolate cake with royal icing and fresh flowers on top, and the cake was incredibly moist and chocolate-y. Everyone loved it. Thank you Charles, Nigel & Allan, for this wedding gift!

 

All in, our wedding was fabulous. Sure there were minor glitches here and there, but on a whole, things went smoothly. Dinner started and ended on time and the guests were happy. And I had my friends close-by and everyone pitched in to make the wedding a success. Thank you everyone!

For more Wedding Dinner pictures, click on the Picasa link below:

Wedding Dinner Pictures

   *And to address the rumours that our wedding was more than RM600,000, thank you for the compliment but our big day was no where as elaborate as the PM’s daughter's engagement. ;)

Wedding Vendors:

• Gowns: Venetian Bridal House & La Sposa
• Red Kebaya: Jalan Tunku Abdul Rahman
• Hair & Makeup: Jamie Liew
• Accessories: Mori Pin
• Videographer: Nigel Sia
• Photographer: Andy Kho & Mike Yip
• Wedding planner: ADAMAS Weddings
• Events planner: Imagine If Sdn Bhd
• DJ & DJ Console: DJ Smurf & Imagine If Sdn Bhd
• Wine: Tong Woh Enterprise
• Cake: Just Heavenly
• Hotel: Grand Dorsett Subang
• Wedding Car Plate: Just Married Car Plate
• “Chi Mui” and “Heng Tai” Badge: Just Married Car Plate
• Flower bouquet: La Sposa Bridal Gallery (comes with the package)
• Hotel Flower Arrangement: Grand Dorsett Subang

Valentine's Day

Here's the Valentine's Day card Wei Jien gave to me with a lovely message inside. Was pleased that he took the effort (and slightly embarrassed I didn't) to do something special. So far, things have been good. We're trying not to put on weight; although, I think Wei Jien isn't doing as well in holding off the extra kilos! Lol

The Marriage Preparation Course (Part 6)

The final session of our marriage preparation course was about shared goals and values. While I understood and related to the other four sessions, it took me some time to truly understand what shared goals and values really meant.

Now that we’re married, it makes more sense. Prior to this, I assumed we share the same goals and values. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be together for so long. But that wasn’t entirely true. Having the same goals and values involved all that we learnt in the previous four sessions, and more. Wei Jien and I are very different, and while we have a lot of common interests, we don’t always agree with each other’s goals and values. The key to overcome this is to listen, understand and compromise.

There’s no guidebook to doing so – you have to learn as you progress into the marriage. I’m writing this from experience, based on my two months of marriage. Wei Jien has always been the more mature and understanding one, and I believe he has a better understanding of this topic long before we joined the course.

I only realized this when I was doing some reflection on us recently. We’ve gone through plenty of ups and downs while dating and more often than not, he always placed my needs before his. He insisted that I went to UK to further my studies because the courses there were better. We survived that long-distance relationship.

In 2008, he persuaded me to pursue a dream that I had for many years – to join beauty pageants. Despite all the negativity beauty pageants had (and still have), all he wanted was for me to be happy.

In 2010, I decided to quit my fulltime job to figure out what I want to do with my life. During those 3 months, he supported me emotionally and financially, until I got a new job. I always told myself that I could do what he did for me when the time comes. Easier said than done – it takes a lot of strength and faith to actually put this into action.

One of his goals in life is to work abroad and he’s been talking about this for the past 4 years. If he does go abroad, it only makes sense that I go with him. Thing is, going with him means leaving everything I have behind. My family, friends, social life, career...you get the picture.

It was only then that I understood the meaning of shared goals and values. You won’t always have the same goals in life, but you learn work with it. Compromise with one another, without any feeling of regret or resentment. Only then, can the marriage grow stronger and become more rewarding.

The Ang Pau Giving Guide

I wish someone shared this with me before I got hitched so I can ‘educate’ some uninitiated guests on the ang pau giving protocol. While it’s a bit too late for me and rif, it’s still not too late for those who are getting married to take note of this.

To the Chinese, ang pau symbolizes prosperity they are given during weddings as a good blessing to the couple. Of course, the content of the red packet matters – it helps the newly-weds offset their wedding dinner cost. I’m not saying you have to fork out and arm and a leg for the ang pau, but at least be reasonable when giving them.

Please don’t attend a wedding dinner at a 5-star hotel with a family of 10 and give a RM500 ang pau or worse, come empty handed. That’s just ridiculous. For those of you who don’t know how much wedding dinners cost these days, here’s a rough guide*:

Based on my experience in calling at least 20 hotels and 5 Chinese restaurants for my wedding dinner last year (November 2011), here’s my rough estimate of how much a wedding dinner cost per pax (factor-in an increase of 5-10% for year 2012).

Other factors that can affect the above:

• If the wedding is on Mon-Thurs: Give 90 – 95% of the weekend rate.
• If your sibling or best friend is getting married: Add 50%.
• If your ex or frenemy is getting married: Deduct 50%. *If it were my ex, I wouldn’t give an ang pau.
• If the wedding couple gave you a lousy sum when you got married: It’s payback time!
• If you obviously got a last-minute, fill-seat invite: Deduct 30%.
• If you RSVP-ed but can’t make it at the last minute: You still need to give an ang pau; at least 50% of the amount. It’s not nice to have empty seats on the couple’s big day.
• If you are a thrifty guest but want ‘face’: Call the hotel beforehand and ask for the rates.

*Note that this also depends on your budget. Give what you can afford and I'm sure the bride and groom are more than happy that you're there for their big day.

So now that you know how much weddings cost these days, do give accordingly when you attend future weddings. For those who are getting married, send a gentle reminder to your guests don't expect the ang pau to cover the cost of your dinner. That way, you can spare yourself the teeth-gritting later on.

Hope this helps!

First Chinese New Year as newly-weds

This is my first Chinese New Year as a newly-wed. As per Chinese customs, Wei Jien and I are supposed to give double the ang pow during the first year of marriage. That put a strain on our wallets, as we have yet to earn back the money spent on our wedding. That aside, it’s been a good two months since we got hitched.

Things have been pretty good, so far. Took us some time to adjust living together and working out our “me time”. We’re putting our honeymoon on hold, because Wei Jien wants to go for a long vacation some place far. That’s going to require quite a bit of money, so unless I start washing cars in my bee-kee-nee, we have to save from scratch.

Anyway, our reunion dinner was simple but I enjoyed it. Mum in law cooked all the dishes – we had yee sang, double boiled soup with abalone, pacific clams and mushroom, chicken pongteh, sambal udang, pork with buah keluak, ju hu char and steamed fish. Most of them were Nyonya dishes; a big change from the usual Foochow dishes I was accustomed to. But all very tasty.

Gong Xi Fa Cai everyone! 

Hope the year of the dragon is treating you all good so far.:)

Wei Jien + Sue Lynn's Wedding Highlights

Our wedding videographer Nigel has a gift for choosing all the right songs for wedding videos. He selected all the three songs for our video and they were perfect for rif and I. It goes to show that he understands the subject matter, or in our case, the people he was filming very well. I love the outcome of our wedding highlights. Important details were captured and special moments were documented candid-style.

Kudos to Ren, who was filming on rif’s side when he was getting ready to pick me up. Love the shot of rif putting on his shirt and the close-up shot of his ring when he was wearing his shoes. By the way, my wedding shoes were 5 inches high and while I love them to bits, they were a torture to wear. My dinner heels were 6 inches high, because

I'm short
rif is so tall! Nigel’s storyboard on the wedding highlight is slightly different from what I expected, but I like it that way. He never fails to surprise me with his creativity. Thank you Nigel Sia and team, for being so wonderful to work with. rif and I can’t wait for full edit of the actual day.

Wei Jien + Sue Lynn // Wedding Highlights (2011) from Nigel Sia on Vimeo.

For all you future brides, email (hello@nigelsia.com) or call (016-384 4617) Nigel quickly if you want him to film your big day. This guy is a busy busy bee!

Check out Nigel's other videos here.

FEATURE: Our Wedding in KL Lifestyle

A bit of self pimping:
Go check out our wedding feature in KL Lifestyle, January 2012 issue! :)