Thursday, July 28, 2011

The Marriage Preparation Course - Support Couple


That was one of the few advices our support couple gave us. After doing the couple's personality test, Wei Jien and I were assigned a support couple who would help us address our strengths and weaknesses as a couple. We were invited into their home and dined with the whole family. It also gave us a sense of perspective what to expect in future.

Once we were done with dinner, we discussed our test results. True enough, the results were as we predicted. Our strengths lie in our willingness to be open to each other, our understanding of one another and our similar interests. However, we need to work more on how to resolve conflicts and managing our very different personalities. Wei Jien and I are total opposites.

All this while, we've learnt to work around the conflicts but never really addressed the root of the problem -- our personality. After a long discussion, we realized this problem might seem minor for now, but once we move in together and start a family, things will get complicated with the unaddressed conflicts.

By the end of the night, I realized there's so much more required in a marriage than just love, commitment, compatibility, communication and patience. For Wei Jien, he has a better understanding of what to expect in the future when problems arise.

Our support couple taught us this, "You build trust over trust". If your partner knows he/she can tell you anything and everything without being worried you might react badly/use it against them, then he/she will be able to trust you with their deepest emotions. They will share their problems and thoughts with you. That is one of the key foundations to a strong marriage. To me, it's easier said than done. But for the marriage to work, we're going to try our best. 

**We were at their place for dinner again last night, addressing issues such as managing finances and setting life goals as a couple. I found that session difficult, and the questions/obstacles given by our support couple got Wei Jien and I tongue-tied for a while. All this while, we thought we had everything covered and planned out. The fact that we failed to solve a few difficult questions made us realise, that there was still so much to learn and so many areas to strengthen.  

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