Wedding Update (28 March 2011)

Things were not so smooth-sailing for our wedding planning (hotel issue), but I managed to get a few things sorted out. Those include deciding on my bridal gowns, theme, colour, video concept and make-up artist/hair stylist.


Kien Ling, my wedding planner accompanied me to the bridal studio to confirm the gowns I want for the pre-wedding shoot. Fiona (the bridal studio's dress consultant) was most helpful and accommodating. She was super patient with my pickiness and her recommendations were pretty spot-on. Fiona spent more than 1 hour convincing me that the can-can dress would look suit me, but I refused to listen. Kien Ling too, tried persuading me to ‘just try and see’. When I finally tried it on, I liked what I saw.


I’ve decided on my bridal gowns for the pre-wedding photography as well as THE gown I will be using on the actual day. It was the only gown that made me go, “Wow. This is it. There’s no other dress like this one”. I won’t be revealing the gowns until the time comes, so you’ll have to wait. :)


As for our ROM, I have chosen and purchased my dress. Actually, it was rif who choose it for me and we’re both pretty pleased with it. You’ll see it when I post pictures of my ROM this coming October 8. I’m pretty excited about it, as my videographer Nigel Sia will be also be documenting it on video.


Wei Jien’s mother has already bought me my wedding kebaya. She scouted for it in KL, before taking me there the next day to try it on. I’m glad we didn’t spend much on it – only RM200 for the kebaya top and silk cloth.

His mum will be making me a pair of Nyonya beaded slippers. She showed me a few designs and colours, before helping me choose the right one to match my wedding kebaya. Honestly, I would prefer that she didn’t make them, as they require a lot of work.

I hope my hairstylist can do this for me! 

I’m still not sure of the hairstyle I want for the ROM and actual day. But I know for sure it’s not going to be an updo. I hated the hairstyles given to me during both Miss Universe Malaysia 2008 and 2010. Those updos made me look like an auntie. I’m thinking of letting it down, with soft curls at the end. Or maybe have half my hair up to hold the tiara/veil properly. I’ll talk to my stylist about this, and let him (yes, it’s a he) decide for me.

Horrible make-up and hairstyle during Miss Universe Malaysia 2010

Miss Malaysia Universe 2008 -- hated the make-up and hair too

I actually like this hairstyle, but I'm worried it might make my face look rounder. ~_~

Bridezilla

The wedding preparations haven’t been easy on Wei Jien and myself. The stress, the cost, the details, problems we’ve encountered working with people, so on and so forth. I’m so irritated with what’s going on it makes me snappy. And please don’t tell me to relax and enjoy the process. It hasn’t been fun.


I always thought I will be an easy-going bride who’s not particular about details, wedding dress, etc. But I was so wrong!


Everything matters to me, from the ballroom and F&B, right up to our wedding outfits. And don’t even get me started on make-up and hair. I’ll share some of my problems here and hopefully, future brides can learn from this.


Parents


I’m really irritated at my parents, I don’t even want to talk to them right now. They wanted to have the wedding dinner at GD (I’ll call it GD to avoid potential lawsuits) long before Wei Jien popped the question. It’s partly because my mum’s friend’s children got married there. Since when do older people succumb to peer pressure?!


When Wei Jien asked them for permission to marry me, they started talking about booking the ballroom at GD. If you don’t believe me, you can ask him. I’m not keen on GD because I don’t like the location and it’s not exactly an ideal wedding venue -- think old carpets, old chandeliers and old linen. For a hotel to charge RM2K (after tax and service charge) per table, it should be in the city and of 5-star standard; not 4-star. In GD's case, I don't think it deserves 4-star.

Mandarin Oriental Kuala Lumpur (google.com)

My reader Mandy's wedding at One World Hotel (picture credit: stories.my)

Because we have so many guests, not many hotels can accommodate us. The only hotels that can are Mandarin Oriental, Hilton Kuala Lumpur, Sunway Hotel Resort & Spa, One World Hotel and GD. The first two hotels are hot favourites among brides, so the next available dates are in March/April 2012 (when I called to enquire in December 2010). Sunway Hotel wasn’t available on November 19, because that date is apparently and auspicious date to get married. For some ridiculous reason, my parents didn’t want a hotel attached to a shopping mall, claiming that it will be noisy, the jam is bad…that kind of bullshit. GD no traffic jam is it?

Sheraton Imperial Kuala Lumpur (google.com)

Le Meridien Kuala Lumpur (google.com)

Places like Prince Hotel, JW Marriot, Ritz-Carlton, Le Meridien, Sheraton Imperial and The Westin cannot accommodate 650 people. I told my parents to keep it small but they insisted on having 35-40 tables. Wei Jien’s parents are taking 15 tables. I have 5 tables and Wei Jien is taking 5 tables himself. As of today (March 24, 2011), we only have 55-57 tables because my parent’s relatives who are overseas cannot attend the wedding. Also, I’m pretty sure another 10-15% of the people they invited will not be attending the dinner. So that makes it about 500 pax. I’m seriously pissed right now, because we can fit 50 tables in Sheraton Imperial and JW Marriot, which is way better than GD if you ask me.


Wei Jien and I were considering Bukit Kiara Equestrian Club or Noble Banquet because they are more affordable and the food is somewhat tastier. When we spoke to my parents about it (I’m only talking about my parents here, because his parents are a lot more carefree), they didn’t agree. For the sheer fact that my father wanted ‘face’ because he’s inviting his business partners and friends. So we had no choice but to settle for GD, the hotel of their choice.


After booking the hotel, my parents had the cheek to tell me that they did it for me, because they thought I wanted a hotel and because they didn’t want to stress Wei Jien out with the wedding cost. (roll eyes) If they were that considerate, they would have agreed to have the wedding at Bukit Kiara or Noble House. And now they want to act all noble….as though they did us a favour by choosing GD.






Emcee


I initially had an emcee (a friend offered to do it as a wedding gift). But due to a miscommunication with the wedding planner’s assistant and him, I now have no emcee. I’m annoyed at the assistant, but I’m more annoyed at my friend because he didn’t even give me a chance to explain things.






Wedding planner


Our wedding planner went to Las Vegas for a month, leaving us in the good hands of her assistant, who wasn’t so sure about things. She is a really nice girl, but I am a difficult bride. Fortunately, our wedding planner is back from her trip and she just gave us a proposal, which comprised things we liked, and things we didn’t like. At least we liked half of what she had to suggest. Of course, we didn’t like the wedding budget, so Wei Jien (being the auditor he is) has asked that she revise it accordingly.




ROM Venue


Since we have no $$ left for anything, we were looking for an affordable ROM venue. When I say affordable, I mean RM25 per person inclusive of drinks. I initially wanted to do it at my house, but it won’t be that cheap as I have to fork out extra $$ for tents, chairs, food, etc.


I initially wanted to have my ROM at my favourite hangout place in PJ. But since both our I.Cs bear a KL address, we can only have the ROM in KL. I’m annoyed that the planner didn’t tell me this earlier.

Do you really think JPN Putrajaya is an ideal marriage registration venue?! Somebody shoot me please.  

If you think like this friend of mine who told me to ‘just go to Putrajaya and register your marriage there”, you’re missing out on the point. The wedding dinner belongs to my parents. But the ROM is mine and I’m going to make sure I have it my way.


My parents are not paying for this so they have no say on what I do with my ROM. In fact, I’m tempted to not invite them because I’m that angry with them. They already decided on the wedding dinner venue -- I’m not letting them ruin my ROM with their constant comments and silly suggestions. I might change my mind when things are looking better, but for now, I won’t be letting my parents anywhere near my ROM planning.

Wei Jien's sister's garden wedding at The Royale Chulan. Decor was not bad but the food sucked. 

At this rate of going, I have a feeling my wedding at GD will be far worse. Wedding planner, help!!

The Hotel -- GD


I almost drove to the hotel to strangle the liaison manager (let’s call her A) yesterday. She will be leaving the hotel soon, and left me in the good hands of her new and inexperienced colleague. This new wedding coordinator was formerly in the oil and gas industry, and she’s in charge of my wedding?! I flipped. Big time.


My wedding planner met them a few days ago but didn’t want to tell me about it until she finalised a few things. And also because she knew I would react this way. But A emailed me informing me of the change and I lost my cool. I think she was shocked, because when I met her to pay for the deposit in December 2010, I was really nice.


See, she informed my wedding planner that if we rented GD’s projector and sound system, we would need to hire help to get it up and running. What the hell for? I’m renting the LCD projector for RM1,250++ (per unit), and GD can’t even supply the manpower? I asked A about this and got really pissed off when she said this, “You can ask your family members to play the slideshow for you”.


When I told her that was a ridiculous suggestion, she then proceeded to tell me to get one of my friends to do it. That was when I went ballistic on her. I mean, seriously?! People go to weddings to enjoy themselves, not to play slideshows. And they give ang pow for what? To work the big screen the whole night?! Moron.


So I gave her an earful for 20 minutes. I know I was a bitch, but she hit a lot of my nerves. I felt slightly guilty later on, but when I recall the stupid things she said, I didn’t feel that bad yelling at her. A, you seriously need to learn to think carefully before blurting out preposterous suggestions to your clients.


I’ll leave this mess to my wedding planner to fix. And hopefully, I’ll have a smooth-flowing wedding reception come November 19.




To all the girls out there: 


If you want a fairytale wedding, I suggest you think again. Is the stress worth it? I’m not even doing a fairytale wedding, and my wedding already cost slightly over RM200,000! I should have just eloped.

Wedding Videographer - Nigel Sia

rif and I have engaged in Nigel Sia’s videography services for our big day. I met Nigel about 2 years back, when he was working with my friend Micheal in an advertising agency. I chose Nigel after watching his video Mike + Shannon. Love the concept and storyline.

First round of ideas

Nigel understands my style quite well (after a short chat) and is open to suggestions. My first meeting with him was at the wedding planner’s office. We talked about the wedding videos I've watched and liked, what I wanted in my wedding video and a little bit about rif and myself. Nigel took notes and threw in a few ideas of his own.

rif sharing his thoughts with Nigel

We met up last Thursday to touch base on the video direction and concept rif and I wanted. For a groom, rif had a lot of input, which was a good thing! He told Nigel about our dating days, how he proposed, the things he did prior to the proposal, etc.

Nigel gave us some suggestions and we were both pleased with what he proposed to do. Location might be a problem, but I will talk to the people in charge to see if I can get permission to film in those places.

Those issues aside, things are looking good from the videography side. I can’t wait to see the Nigel’s storyboard on the proposed concept for our wedding video! *rubs hands in glee*

Check out Nigel's blog HERE and view his videos HERE.

Western Wedding Tradition

rif’s mother showed me this poem over dinner last night. Curious, I did some search on Google and found my discoveries too interesting not to share!

Something old, something new
Something borrowed, something blue
And a silver sixpence in her shoe.

Each item in this poem is said to represent a good-luck token for the bride. If she carries all of them on her wedding day, her marriage will be happy.

*picture credits: google.com


"Something old" symbolises continuity with the bride's family and the past. To symbolise this link, brides would wear a piece of antique family jewellery or select something from the mother's or grandmother's wedding gown. Other things that may be chosen include a handkerchief, a scarf or a piece of lace.

Suggestions I found online:

- Use a classic car for wedding day transportation
- Place an antique bookmark to mark ceremony readings
- Use a childhood pillow for the ring bearer’s pillow
- Get a relative’s monogrammed handkerchief
- Display wedding photographs of parents, grandparents, or great-grandparents at the reception
- Find an antique tussy mussy (a conical hand-held bouquet vase) for the bride’s bouquet
- Get a vintage purse to match the bride’s gown
- Have the wedding at a historic location
- Have the bride carry a childhood treasure she has saved like a ring, bracelet, small doll, locket, etc.

Wear my mum's necklace?

Or maybe her diamond earrings...

- Bring out the heirloom jewellery to wear like an engagement ring or wedding band, a brooch, earrings, a bracelet, a necklace, or some sparkly hair pins
- Tuck an antique hat pin into the bride’s bouquet
- Carry a vintage pill box
- Sew a button from one of the bride’s father’s old coats on the inside of the bride’s gown at the hem or place it in her purse
- Give the bride a vintage compact mirror for her purse
- Get a champagne glass to smash during the ceremony from a relative’s wedding or anniversary
- Wear a headpiece, tiara, or veil that has been handed down
- Wear vintage white gloves
- Take some of mother’s or grandmother’s wedding gown fabric or lace and sew it inside the bride’s gown or to her petticoat
- Display the parents’ cake toppers or use it as the wedding cake topper
- Tuck a love letter saved by the bride’s mother from the bride’s father into the bride’s purse
- Carry a wedding photo of parents’ or grandparents’ in the bride’s purse
- Display a photograph of the bride as a little girl or carry it in the bride’s purse.

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"Something new" represents optimism and hope for the bride's new life ahead. It could be anything that is purchased new for the wedding -- wedding flowers, wedding rings, wedding shoes...etc. Wearing a new item on your wedding day conveys the message that you are are creating a new union that will endure forever.

Suggestions I found online:

- Buy a new lipstick in a pretty shade
- Have a custom perfume designed for the bride

New white wedding shoes

- Purchase a new makeup bag or new purse to use on the day of the wedding
- Get a bouquet made of silk flowers, a new tussy mussy to hold a fresh flower bouquet, or a crystal bouquet
- Find a new charm for the bride’s charm bracelet
- Select a new jewellery item to wear on the day of the wedding like a bracelet, earrings, a necklace, or an anklet
- Treat the bride to a pair of new luxurious silk stockings
- Give the bride new lingerie to wear under her gown or on her honeymoon
- Get a sun parasol to keep the bride cool in between all of those photographs
- Treat the bride to a new haircut, new highlights, or new hair extensions
- Purchase a special guest book with extra room for guests to include a personal note at the wedding
- Drive a new car for the bride’s wedding day transportation
- Pack some mints or a stick of gum
- Experiment with a new henna tattoo kit
- Give the bride a new fancy collar or outfit for her pup or kitty

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"Something borrowed" is usually an item from a happily married friend or family member, whose good fortune in marriage is supposed to carry over to the new bride. The borrowed item also reminds the bride that her friends and family will be there for her on the special day and in the future when help is needed. Anything can be borrowed, but it must be returned afterwards.

Suggestions I found online:

- Let the groom borrow the grandfather’s pocket watch or have the bride carry it in her purse
- Include flowers from the bride’s grandparents’ garden in floral arrangements at the wedding or in the bride’s bouquet
- Borrow father’s silk handkerchief
- Use aunt’s prayer book during the ceremony
- Borrow a long-time family friends’ timeshare for your honeymoon
- Borrow the song from the bride’s (or groom’s) parents’ wedding to dance to
- Have the wedding at a borrowed location like the bride’s parents’ backyard or country club
- Borrow a cell phone
- Use a best friend’s strapless bra for the day
- Borrow a headpiece or hair baubles

- Use someone’s silver knife to cut the cake with at the reception
- Wear borrowed jewellery from a happily married gal pal
- Borrow a button-down shirt or robe for the bride to wear while getting her hair and makeup done
- Borrow the flower girl or ring bearer from a friend’s wedding

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“Something blue” symbolises purity, modesty, and faithfulness. The blue item can be anything – garter, necklace pendant or blue-themed wedding flowers. In the olden days, people used to wear blue wedding gowns. “Marry in blue, lover be true,” so the proverb says.

Suggestions I found online:

- Use blue confetti

- Wear a blue Garter
- Decorate with blue balloons at the reception
- Have the groom wear a blue suit
- Wear an ice-blue wedding gown or a blue sash on the wedding gown
- Use blue ribbon or flowers in the bride’s bouquet or on the groom’s boutonniere
- Paint the bride’s toenails or fingernails with blue nail polish
- Have the florist use blueberries in the table centerpieces
- Apply blue eye shadow (after Miss Universe Malaysia 2008, no freaking way am I going to let anyone put blue eye shadow on me!)
- Wear blue-tinted contact lens
- Sprinkle the bride’s skin lightly with sparkly blue body glitter

I'm considering striking blue shoes now! :)

- Wear blue shoes
- Dress in a blue underskirt or petticoat

- Wear sapphire, tanzanite, opals, or aqua marine jewellery
- Use a blue-stone tiara
- Drive a blue car for transportation
- Carry a blue purse
- Pack blue lingerie for the honeymoon
- Get a pretty new blue scarf or handkerchief
- Tie a blue thread around your finger

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“A silver sixpence in her shoe” represents wealth and financial security. The sixpence is traditionally placed in the bride’s left shoe, but it can also be carried in the bride’s purse or sewn into the hem or lining of her gown. These days, a dime or a copper penny is used as a substitute and many brides have found other ways to interpret this wedding custom by using different items and carrying the item instead of placing it in their shoes.

Suggestions I found online:

- Buy a silver sixpence to use for the wedding
- Use an old coin from the country of the bride or groom’s ancestry. This could also double as the “something old” item.
- Get a mint coin for the bride to carry. This could also double as the “something new” item.
- Pack travellers checks if the newlyweds are honeymooning out of the country
- Carry another valuable object like a different coin, jewellery, or a bill in the denomination of the bride or groom’s ancestry

Thinking out loud:

Wedding bands are smooth, simple circles signifying eternity and are supposed to ensure an endless marriage. If my wedding band has diamonds on it, does it mean I’ll have a bumpy and difficult marriage?

So if my wedding band looks like this, how?!

Wedding Tea Set

*Picture credits: google.com

Nyonya tea set

Apparently, the bride's side is supposed to prepare the wedding teapot for the tea ceremony. Wei Jien's mother asked if I wanted to get a Nyonya tea set. Since I'll be wearing a red Nyonya Kebaya instead of a kua (at his place), the Nyonya tea set would look quite lovely.


But I don't mind the traditional Chinese tea set with red Oriental details.

The cartoon tea set is cute, but it's not our style...

What do you think?

Wedding Emcee

I initially had an emcee for our wedding dinner. A friend of mine offered to be my emcee as a wedding gift. I agreed, because he's quite a good emcee. I spoke to the wedding planner's assistant and gave his contact number to her.

A week later, the assistant called and told me he wasn't very happy that he was required to sign an agreement. See (if what she told me was completely unbiased), she asked him for his full name & details to draft the agreement. He found it very insulting, as it was his wedding gift to me.

I understand his point and feel bad that he got hurt (I overlooked this matter) -- he saw it as lack of trust from my side. I however intended for it to be a reminder of my wedding day, as he constantly travels out of the country for work. Oh well, the damage has been done and I've lost my emcee and quite possible, a friend. :(

ROM - Marriage Registration

Wei Jien and I were told that we would need to spend about RM7,000 if we want to have the ROM in my house garden. That's way too expensive as we're only prepared to pay RM1,500 for the ROM!

House Garden ROM (picture credit: Wedding Guide Asia)

Hotel Garden ROM (picture credit: Wedding Guide Asia)

Wei Jien's sister's Indoor Garden Wedding @ The Royale Chulan

It's going to be a small do with our closest friends and family (40-50 people). The RM7,000 includes flowers, food & beverage and a small tent just in case the weather god decides to give us a wedding shower.

I'm thinking of this type of flower deco for my ROM...(hopefully it's economical) :)

We discussed this with a few friends and worked out a reasonable cost for an ROM party. Assuming we serve some light refreshments/brunch (RM30-35 per pax), it should only cost us RM1,200 (RM1,500 max). I doubt we can afford to make it an alcoholic ROM, although I would love for it to be one.

We also realized that choosing a bare venue (like my garden) would require more work and money to dress the place up. It's a different scenario if we opt for a hotel ROM, as the package would already include decorations. I've emailed a few hotels and restaurants, and am currently waiting for them to revert with their packages.

Martha Stewart tea tin centrepieces (pictures from google.com)

At the rate this goes, I'm worried we won't be able to have the ROM we want, as our tight budget does not permit. But I can't stand the thought of going to Putrajaya to register our marriage…

Anyone has a solution for this? Good venue suggestions maybe? I would love a garden/poolside ROM.